i miss

i don't know why but lately i've been missing someone and i really shouldn't, because i'm sure he doesn't. and sometimes i wonder, how bad of a person i am for you to be able to do this to me? am i getting punished? for what? because sometimes, it seemed like i didn't appreciate you? like sometimes, it seemed like i pushed u away? because to you, i'm emotional and u dislike emotional people and it's better to just ignore them? because me and my friends used to pow your rokok? because, i was rude to you that one time(or maybe a few times) and you felt you deserved better? because you feel unappreciated? by me? and my friends? or just me? then why are you still talking to them and not me. if i am actually getting punished, and you're trying to teach me a lesson, then lesson learnt! i get it.. enough lessons already. yes, we didn't know each other for long and yes you are cocky and annoying and mr-always-right, but i still loved you and i opened up to you often.. more than i did to others, at this one point of time. i miss your cockiness and cocktalk, your stupid jokes that no one ever gets, your big head and your NEED to always be right, i miss just riding in your car and listening to your songs and singing to them, i miss our late nights, i miss checking girls out with you, i miss talking to you, i miss smoking with you, especially after a long night out, on the balcony, under the stars. or even better, when it's raining. it's been five months, i miss you and i wish you'd talk to me because i freaking miss you from the bottom of my heart i do, i miss you. and it would be my wish this year, to have you talk to me again and back in my life. and i'm sorry, i'm truely sorry if you ever felt taken for granted, or unappreciated. or even when i was a bit rude to you, i'm sorry, i really am. you've done this to me three times in the short period that we've known each other, and you'd think i'd have gotten it already and i'd go away this time around, but each time you do this, i break down. ask your best friend, he'd know. and i wonder why.. and maybe it's bcos u mean more to me than you know.

there, i said it. i don't have a freaking huge ego.

i hate you. only because i can't have you.

for this year's birthday, i'd like my necklace back. because i miss it. i know you won't believe me when i say this, it has no meaning to me anymore. so, why do i want it back? cos it actually does look good on me. and not everything is about you. and whoa, if i do get it back on my birthday, then it'll be exactly one year ago when i first received it...

k maybe izyan should keep it a little while longer.. dammit!!

maybe u were the better half of me

PUTPUTPUTPUT

things to read on:
sidc, sc, capital market and securities, investment banking, futures and derivatives market, risk management, risk specialist, stockbroking. NEWSPAPER. my general knowledge is so poor.

things to do:
diet, potong rambut, start reading, start caring, start start start start already!

instead of really starting on reading, i'm writing about it. stop procrastinating muzlifah idros. kenapa la saya malas sangat. maybe it's true what two of my closest friends say about me: not enough drive and determination. but then again, i can prove them wrong. F YOU andrew and masyhur! lol.

anyway, semalam birthday put!

happy besday putri sara elisya
i love you long timmmmeee. my roomie of 4 years. thank you for always being there for me.. through ups and downs and rasta's nasi ayam cravings :-p i don't know where i'd be without you. *cue: mariah carey's without you*

Abu!

Just got back from Putrajaya and had a nice seplais while climbing, SIDC called. Yahoo. So, assessment is next Monday. Got 6 days to prepare for tests, interview, group discussion and presentations.. takut.

Anyway, here's a picture of ABU I got from TY website.

ABU

I sleep with him every night. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night finding no one to talk to, so I talk to him. I'm not crazy. He's a fat short giraffe but looks like a blue lembu. So cute. What can I say, I'm a sucker for bears.

a surefire way to make you go loco:

sit at home all day waiting for a reply e-mail from a firm.

and that's exactly what i don't want to be. loco. so i'm dragging myself to go climbing later even tho i'm not really fit for it today. ahhh, i'm down with the flu and fever. baik peluh2 busuk2 hari ni drpd duk rumah melayan developing demam while waiting for a reply from sidc in a blanket with abu.

chelshit

I hate to say this, but damn, Chelsea is on faiyaaaah. I hate them. But anyway, kudos to Liverpool for winning the merseyside derby! Yes, they're out of the CL... and yes, I'm sad but.. ergh, no buts la. I miss last season. We were finally really on track for the title and now, we're just.. nowhere and out of the CL? Sigh. Alonso, why did you leave us? I miss you, I miss your expresionless face (muka tak bersalah) when you just had a foul, I miss your long and sometimes really accurate long shots, I miss the number 14 with your name on it. you were my favourite player for two seasons. For Computer Application subject in Alpha year, I even designed a website about you.. and I got a B-. Come home, you belong here. I hate Benitez for pushing you away.